Grace

Timely.


A little while ago my phone rang.  It was my mom with news that I've been dreading since last March. 


My cousin has lost her 15 year battle with breast cancer.


She has always been my hero.  I used to love visiting her family -- she was three years older -- the perfect age for me to put her on a pedestal.  She never minded.  I can still hear her soft voice tinged with a Southern accent patiently talking, listening, accepting.


In my eyes she was always so good.


I'm pretty sure if you look up the word grace in a heavenly Bible, her picture would be there.  See, I always felt like I was a mess.  Scattered, crazy, all over the place - messy.  However Susan . . . oh gosh . . . she was always good.


I'm sure that wasn't the complete reality.  I know she had struggles -- she was human.


But she chose to see the good.


Yes -- chose it often.


I'm eternally grateful to learn this skill from her.  Even in pain, she would choose to see the good.  Despite the pain, she would talk about love.  Instead of focusing on the disappointments, she saw beauty.


Through her eyes, she changed me.


I know this is a little rambling . . . a little painful . . . the world just feels a little darker.


Though I know she's dancing with Jesus as I type.  I am so happy for her as my human heart weeps.


So tomorrow morning I'm going to wake up and see the beautiful -- the sunrise, the smile on a child's face, the music flowing  . . . for her honor, I'm going to choose the positive.