Forgiveness #spiritualjourney

Some days I wonder how to do it.


Forgive.


Many things are easy -- small things . . . easily dismissed with a smile and a kind word.


Others are much harder.


Much, much harder.


Usually it involves my children -- one in particular, my child --  mean words, hurled insults, taunting laugher, group gang mentality.  Quite honestly, it's why I became a middle school teacher.  I want to change this behavior -- create situations where kids see the humanness behind the façade they all wear.


Then I remind myself that we are human.  We make mistakes. 


I forgive; I feel better.


Then I fail again.  I see the perpetrators, unrepentant; I allow stirrings in my soul to feel negative. 


You see forgiveness is not an easy step.


Alone I will fail.  Alone I would harbor negative feelings. I would challenge the injustice of the situation.


I thank God daily that I'm not alone.  I'm grateful that he shares perspective with me.  I'm grateful that he doesn't give up on me. 


That alone brings me back to my knees to ask for His forgiveness.  After all He forgave me for so much more.  He forgives me when I fail.  He forgives me when I fumble.  He forgives me when I am foul. 


He extends grace over and over and over. 


That is a lesson worth learning.  I marvel at the sadness He must have felt when we turned our backs on him and His son.  If He can forgive that, then who am I to attempt anything less?