Be Nice.

Our district has rolled out a county-wide campaign this year.  The slogan is simple.

Be Nice.

The words are important.  Let's take a moment to reflect on what they mean.  Nice is a word that we often use, but do we take the time to reflect on what it looks like on a daily basis?  Are they just words we mutter, or do we intentionally think about the meaning and act upon them? Sometimes I think the world could use a healthy does of perspective. It would solve a lot of issues that we face personally, professionally, as a community, as a nation, and as a world if we simply act upon this simple concept. Be nice.

So how does "be nice" look?  What are we asking to have our students do?

I think it begins with noticing others.  A focus on what others need is essential.  For example, I have a student who is struggling to recover from a concussion right now.  He looked tired, so I asked him how he was feeling.  He smiled and said his head was hurting some, that reading and bright lights really were affecting him.  It was easy to turn off the overhead lights to provide him some relief.  That small act took me 30 seconds though I hope it's acts like this that will live a lifetime in his head.  Perhaps it seeing someone struggle in the hallway.  Instead of walking by, can I help with a locker, a dropped book, a lonely face?  It can be as simple as a smile, a compliment, an invitation.  Maybe I notice a new haircut, start a discussion about graphic on a t-shirt, or follow up with a conversation. As a teacher, I take many opportunities to look at my class.  Internally, I ask the following questions:  What do I see happening?  Is someone isolated?  Is someone taking a group off task?  What is another group doing well?  How can I give a shout out for the ideas of another?  Where can I support my students?  What changes do I see?

After you've taken note of the needs of others, ask yourself if you can discern the possible motivations behind certain actions.  For example, is the isolated child there by choice, or perhaps she is new to the district.  How can I provide opportunities for her to develop friendships with others?  Are there others in the class with similar interests? Until then, I make sure I take a moment to seek her out and ask how her day is going.  Perhaps I stop by the table at lunch and say hello.  To do this it's important to intentionally listen.  If a child is acting out, experiment with ways to use his strengths to create a positive relationship.  Try different methods to get to know him in a positive way and use that to hook him into class activities.  Continue to try different methods to open his ideas to different possibilities and different outcomes.  Additionally, choose to complement those (students and adults) who are doing well with specific praise.  In the hallway, grab a co-worker to tell her what your student is doing well in front of the child.  Let each child hear the singing of his praises.   E-mail or call home with good news.  Smile.  Ask how others are doing.  Yes, this takes moments away from what I need to accomplish, but it impacts the future in ways that my needs alone never could. 

An important aspect of being nice is that it requires grace.  I extend grace often in life as I hope I will be given the same opportunity when I make a mistake.  When students make bad choices, I do my best to bite my tongue.  Occasionally I step away to let the heat of the situation calm down,  I tell them that I will miss them.  (I actually do - each child provides a voice that is valuable in the room.)  I remind them that there is a new opportunity tomorrow to make different choices.  We discuss ways to grow to the type of person they want others to see them as and how to become that person.  The next day I greet them at the door with a smile.  People make mistakes; the important part is how we learn and grow from them.

Finally, being nice requires making the choice to do so.  To notice the needs of others, to develop  relationships,  and to offer grace are all intentional choices.  They are choices designed to help me be what my students need to move forward in becoming the person they want to become.  They are choices that tell kids that they matter in the world.  They are choices that I hope will live long after the 2014-2015 school year.